The grades are in for college football’s Week 3. At this time of the year, teams are well into their non-conference slate, with some even venturing off into league play. But the schedule makers did no favors and had the pundits searching hard to find an upset to pick (hello, fans in Manhattan, Kansas).
The same thing goes as far as grading from last season: High marks will be only for the spectacular, and failing grades have no chance of being reversed. Also, mean social posts will be ignored and emails to the inbox to complain will directly enter the trash folder.
Last week’s high marks went to EuroJournal’ Gus Johnson predicting the future, with failing grades going to the referees in the Baylor-Utah game and an SEC announcer turning a feel-good moment into a cringeworthy foul-up.
Here is the Week 3 analysis of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared:
Colorado State’s Jay Norvell Goes Out of Bounds
There is an old saying when it comes to knowledge: “A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.” The translation: If you don’t know what you are talking about, keep your mouth shut.
That applies to Colorado State head coach Jay Norvell, who thought motivating his team this week meant publicly criticizing another coach, with some nonsense about respect that’s at best corny. Those comments seem to contradict what Norvell also said earlier in the week about Colorado head coach Deion Sanders:
“Deion Sanders has a lot of public critics. I’m not one of them,” Norvell said, “I really respect all head coaches and the sacrifices that they’ve made to become head coaches. I appreciate the path they have to go to get there.”
By the way, there is evidence of Norvell wearing a hat and sunglasses when talking to adults. And yes, a visor is a hat.
Later in the week Norvell went on to complain about the media and wondered why no one asked him questions about his team or those ignorant statements about hats, sunglasses, and respect — all of which have nothing to do with football, which is why Norvell got the backlash he did.
Here are a couple of things Norvell should be grateful for — A job: Considering his putrid record in the past two seasons; Deion Sanders: Because no one outside of Fort Collins would pay attention to you this week if he wasn’t there; EuroJournal: For wanting to televise a game where the Rams were three-touchdown underdogs.
After the Rams blew an 11-point fourth-quarter lead and lost in double overtime to the Buffaloes, Norvell can now exit stage left.
The motivation method: F
The motivation and late-game execution: F-
Oregon State Beavers Big Man Touchdown
Big man touchdowns are always going to earn high marks here, and Oregon State left tackle Joshua Gray need not attend another day of class after the play he made against San Diego State.
Already up 6-0 in the second quarter, the Beavers had a first-and-goal from the 3-yard line. Quarterback D.J. Uiagalelei dropped back, rolled to his right, and heaved a backward pass to Gray, who was sitting wide open with a convoy of blockers ahead of him.
But he didn’t need those blockers as he strolled to the end zone for the unconventional rushing touchdown.
Big Man touchdown: Ph.D.
The Adventures of Brian Ferentz, Iowa’s Nepo Baby
Iowa offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz is the definition of taking advantage and benefitting off of parental hierarchy, aka nepotism. Put another way, he’s a nepo baby.
Ferentz, who is the son of the Iowa head coach Kirk Ferentz, knows he is on the hot seat. Everyone does.
So, what does he do to improve his standing, maybe keep his job and get in the good graces of the fan base? Well, apparently, nothing.
Ferentz was seen throwing a tantrum befitting a kindergartner on the sideline Saturday against Western Michigan, dropping a couple of “F-bombs” and tossing his headset like someone stole his bike just for good measure.
The Hawkeyes did score 41 against the Broncos, set up mostly by stellar special teams and the defense, and shamelessly scored their last touchdown with 30 seconds left in the game to boost that scoring average needed to keep his job (25 points per game).
Ferentz has arguably been stealing money for years based on his job performance, so this space and pretty much all college football fans outside of Iowa (and maybe even a few Iowa fans) aren’t going to shed a tear if he doesn’t reach his 325-point season goal.
Father knows best: F
The worst and best of the rest
Gus Johnson ain’t Usain Bolt:
Hail Mary. Hell, yes:
Nice tip drill, Kansas State:
And the award for Worst Actor in a dramatic football game goes to…
Truck sticks of the week:
Stats for you
0: Games this weekend that featured two ranked teams playing each other
1: Teams still without a passing touchdown this season (Sam Houston State)
2: Teams still without a rushing touchdown this season (Sam Houston State, Colorado State)
32: Consecutive games Oregon has won at home, the nation’s longest.
38: Penalties called on Boston College in three games this season. The Eagles were flagged 18 times in their loss to Florida State.
44:25: Time of possession for Army in its win against UTSA
61: Distance (in yards) of field goal made by Missouri’s Harrison Mevis to beat Kansas State. It’s the longest kick in SEC history.
91: Points scored by FCS Portland State against North American University, an NAIA school, in a shutout victory. Two weeks ago, Portland State was beaten by Oregon 81-7.
$300,000: Money that Oklahoma State paid South Alabama for the Jaguars to come to Stillwater. The Cowboys were blasted 33-7.
$625,000: Money that Stanford paid FCS Sacramento State to travel to Palo Alto only to lose 30-23. It’s the first victory for an FCS school over a Power Five opponent this season.
The Dog of the Week
Washington at Michigan State
Enjoy Uga getting “friendly” with the South Carolina gamecock:
Now to the game…
Rarely will the hounds look away from a non-conference matchup featuring two Power Five schools, but here we are. The Spartans have more issues than can be explained here and certainly looked uninterested Saturday as the Huskies went to East Lansing and steamrolled anything that got in their way.
Michael Penix Jr. and the rest of the offense treated the game like a 7-on-7 drill as he passed for 473 yards and four touchdowns in a 41-7 beatdown that had the pups scurrying for cover by halftime.